Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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