Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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