I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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