I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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