what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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