If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize