She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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