shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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