Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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