I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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