He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize