he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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