is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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