Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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