I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
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It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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