You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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