WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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