this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize