guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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