bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize