she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize