I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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