Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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