She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize