What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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