I smell stomach acid.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize