My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize