They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize