i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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