My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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