Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
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Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize