toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize