we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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