At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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