I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
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she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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