I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
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she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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