Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize