Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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