I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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