it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My hand turned me down
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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