Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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