it hurts more in the daytime
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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