I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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