They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize