More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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