I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Alive.
So much puke
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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