I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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