He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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