I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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