Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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