I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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