i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize